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We have all seen toxic people be drawn to reasonable people, and all of us have likely had (or have) at least one person in our lives who has damaged us and left us to question, “What did I do?" Damage from toxic people can be very subtle - from being told lies, to constantly feeling the need to adjust your own behaviors to avoid conflict. When this happens in a relationship most of the time, that means it's them and not you.

Every relationship has good and bad days, but when bad days start outnumbering the good ones, it’s time to move on. When a relationship is making you question your priorities or forcing you to make changes that cause you to compromise your individuality, it is a good time to quit. Being stressed, unable to sleep, feeling anxious, and feeling irritable around your partner, all due to the relationship, are additional signs that you should consider questioning why you are stuck and staying in the relationship.

Being able to spot harmful behaviors is the first step towards learning to minimize their impact. Learning about toxic people may not change what the other person does, but you will change how you work through it and not allow it to affect your quality of life.
Every experience in life gives you the opportunity to learn and rise from its challenges - to choose different paths or to choose to stay stuck in unhealthy pasts. You decide each day how you are going to show up for yourself.

Without sounding too spiritual, we each have an assignment here and we can choose how we handle these assignments. The most important assignment we have is showing up. Once you decide to show up, your old stories and experiences become the past, because you’ve made the choice to be in your power and change your life.

So, how do you do this?
Step 1. Take a clear look at your life; identify your trauma and fears.
Step 2. Recognize that if you don’t work on yourself, you will stay stuck and you will continue your patterns.
Step 3. Be kind to yourself; don’t find fault and blame. You are learning to be the best you can be.
Step 4. Learn to own your role in life. You can’t control what other people do. You are the only one that can make it better.
Step 5. Don’t focus on fixing the other person.
Step 6. Remember that finding fault in others is work for yourself. No matter how someone treats and talks to you – you allow this.
Step 7. Show up for you each day.

Let's begin to learn about you.


This workbook's digital format provides added flexibility, allowing you to engage with its content in the privacy of your own space and at your own pace. Whether you read it on your computer, tablet, or smartphone, you can navigate the material whenever and wherever you feel most comfortable. As you navigate through its pages, you can utilize a journal to record your answers, self-reflections, and challenges as you progress through the workbook. This approach allows you to replicate the process of the print version, providing you with a record of your growth and insights.

Once you've completed the workbook, you can review your journal to reflect on your growth and celebrate your achievements. When you're fully prepared to close this chapter of your life, consider symbolically "burning" the journal you've written in.  This act represents your commitment to moving forward and embracing the possibilities that lie ahead.​​
Congratulations on your journey. May this symbolic closure mark the beginning of a new chapter filled with healing, growth, and self-discovery.​

Breaking up with Toxicity

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